god's in his heaven, all's right with the world

i know it's been almost a month since my last post, but things have been a bit... interesting. also, for the zero readers out there, you might want to note that i am not the best blogger by any stretch. i like to experience life rather than document it, which is a little retarded given my willingness to drink.

i write this blog today not because my life has calmed down at all. it has not. in fact, as one of my favourite comedians once put it, life gets harder and faster until you die. (i can't remember who this is at the moment... early dane cook?) so i figure, if i'm going to start chronicling my life in any recognizable manner, i may as well do it now, before my life gets harder and faster (and better and stronger).

things in my life that are not going right include:
- i have recently started pre-k summer school with not only my own kids, but a fresh pack of new ones, and some special ed kids that have, until this summer school session, been in a self-contained classroom.
- there are five teachers in this classroom (FIVE) and not one of us agrees with any of the others. i can handle this with the more professional of them, but there is one in particular who is really, REALLY good at interrupting me that makes me want to burn the school down.
- the transition that my co-teacher and i were supposed to make to headstart pre-k is looking bumpier than we ever thought it could be. things are not looking great for fall.
- one week ago, i broke things off with a long-term boyfriend. despite the time we'd had together, things had reached the point where i felt like i was pumping coins into a slot machine, waiting for my lucky break. even though i called it, it still sucked.
- i've recently gotten a new roommate, and he had to house-sit this past week. this wouldn't be weird except i've grown attached to the strange tall man who inhabits my living space, and who owns a ridiculous number of knives and swords. i could swear that i heard crackheads trying to break down the doors this week, only because ben wasn't here to intimidate them with his 6'4" figure and a katana.

however, even though i have to go back to work tomorrow, even though it's way past my bedtime, things feel better. there was a lovely rainstorm that cooled things down and made them smell like ozone, i made dinner (and lunch for tomorrow), and everyone in the house (except me) is sleeping. ben's asleep, his cat lewis, my cat gala is napping just inches away...

i feel like some sort of strange order has been restored. for the first time in a while, things are peaceful. things are right.

The year's at the spring,

And day's at the morn;

Morning's at seven;

The hill-side's dew-pearled;

The lark's on the wing;

The snail's on the thorn;

God's in his Heaven -

All's right with the world!

spring chickens and magic scarf

spring is in full swing and summer is looming here in ol' georgia. it would be easier to see (and relate with others about) if i was to talk about the flowers in bloom, or the nests going up in the trees, or the endless parade of wedding processions coming out of the church across the street. but for me, and others living with children every day, it's easier to tell when summer is in the hearts and minds of, well, pretty much everyone, if you observe with even the slightest attention the behaviors of five-year-olds. in fact, if i were to conduct a (series of) psychological experiment(s), i'd put a few adults with no children or experience with children into an environment where they wouldn't be able to tell (by any conceivable means) what season it was. then, when they'd least expect it (spring), i would release twenty five-year-olds into their environment and have them guess what season it was. (they'd be able to.)

it's weird calling them five-year-olds now. they were all four when we got 'em. i've been used to calling them all four, but now there's only three little four-year-old stragglers in my group of twenty, and they're so grown up now. i've been through hell and back with these kids (can you say "lots of rainy days in a row with no indoor play area"?), like i have with the kids every year before, but this group seems closer to me. i feel more of a familial bond with these little children who could in no universe resemble me than i feel for my own cousins. after all, i don't know my cousins' favorite transformers, or what their favorite pastimes are, or what they will avoid eating.

but these kids. i found myself telling anna (my co-teacher) the other day while she was lettering the names for the summer journals for the kids, "you're gonna wanna make sure angie and ayri have purple lettering, and zy's favorite color is orange now, not yellow, remember?" i don't even call them by their full names anymore. not one of them escapes without a pet name, whether it be "julie-boots" or "cam-jams", "angie-bear" or, simply, "tree frog". (oh, tree frog. i will miss you most of all.)

it was just so funny today, seeing them (all) eating school-pizza lunch, remembering how many of them wouldn't touch it in august. seeing them be so independent, settling their own conflicts (with their words, even!), helping each other... it just made me feel good about the community and the atmosphere of learning we've been able to establish and foster. sigh.

i know i'm counting the days until summer break (6), but i'm gonna cry on the last day.

in other news, i've got a little project on the needles that i don't really expect to come off for some time, but that's okay. it's inspired by (really just a blatant copy of) jared flood's romney kerchief. again, i know. i'm in love... with his patterns, anyway. since his wool was handspun, i picked up some sock yarn (lang jawoll magic sock) and squinted at the computer screen for a couple of hours until i (think i) figured it out.

mmmm sexy.

it's one of those nice little knits you can come home and relax to (or sneak a few rows in on a lunch break) and not have to worry about it, since it's basically just straight knitting. he pretty much explains how to do it on his blog, so i won't worry about going into any particulars here for fear of any copyright infringement (the man lives off his knitting patterns. buy some).

work it, baby. make LOVE to the crappy camera.

it's one of those triangular kerchiefs/shawls that starts at the center and radiates outward. if you'll allow me to write out my pattern?

yarn: sock yarn, or the like.
needles: i'm using circular US 3, 3.25 mm
gauge: doesn't really matter, does it? it's meant to be a kerchief shawly thing. but mine's 26 sts to 4 in, or 6.5 per inch.
notions: 4 st markers. (optional?) i'm the kind of knitter that gets distracted easily, especially when it's basically rows and rows of increasing garter stitch. i frequently don't... finish a row. (hush, you.) i find that different stitch markers help me when i increase on the 4 points where you increase. (i used increase a LOT in that sentence. increase increase increase. now it's lost all meaning.)

CO 11 sts.
k for 3 rows.
on the next row, start "mountains and valleys" pattern. (why not a catchy name?)

mountains and valleys pattern:
row 1 (RS): k3, m1, k to center stitch, m1, k center stitch, m1, k to last 3 sts, m1, k3.
OR, with markers: k3, slip marker, m1, k to marker, m1, slip marker, k center st, slip marker, m1, k to marker, m1, slip marker, k3.
row 2 (WS): k all.
row 3: as row 1.
row 4: as row 2.
row 5: as row 1.
row 6(WS) : k3, p to last 3 sts, k3.

repeat pattern until you are nauseated, or until yarn starts looking like it's about to run out (in 6 rows). at that time, end on a WS row.

edging:
k for 6 rows, or, if you don't want a simple garter stitch edging to go with your simple pattern, do somethin' fancy. i won't tell you what. it's your thang. then bind off. please read jared's original blog entry if you intend to use all yarn available, since he talks in his post about weighing the yarn to make sure you have enough.

finishing:
there'll be a little bloop in your top straight-edge of your triangle. use the tail of the yarn you cast on with (you left it there, right?) to sew together that little bit of seam to make it un-wonky. (vague, i know. but you'll know what i mean.) then it's best to block the thang. the BT uses blocking wires. do whatever you have to.

a note about the m1's: on the right-hand side of the (RS) increases (there are no WS increases), i picked up the running thread purlwise with R needle, slipped it to the L needle, and k through the back of the st. on the left-hand side of the increases, i picked up the running thread with R needle knitwise, slipped it to the L needle, and knit as though it was a normal stitch through the front . however, m1 as you see fit. i didn't use yarn overs in mine since it didn't look at all like jared had used them in his.

well, friends, it's another day. i'll let you know if i get a cease and desist order from brooklyn tweed.

koolhaas and friends

yesterday and today were lovely. seventy to seventy-five degrees all day. it inspired me to make a hat. ladies and gentlemen, a koolhaas, made quite easily in a single weekend. what a thrill!

(no fear, there are clothes! it's a sarong, you just can't see it. sorry.)

SOR-RY.

really, though, this hat was like a torrid love affair over the weekend in cabo. never dull, always exciting, and over far too quickly.

it's also got a really great difficulty-to-awesomeness ratio. let's talk about that for a second.

it's pretty fair to assume that, in knitting (as in life), the difficulty of a project usually matches the beauty of the finished product. that stockinette top-down hat? nothing pretty, but hey, it was easy. not to mention the beauty in its simplicity. the estonian lace shawl that ate your lunch and keyed your car? the most gorgeous heirloom on two needles. note the corollary to this rule: some ugly projects can be quite difficult (i'm sure you've seen an ugly christmas fair isle sweater) and some beautiful projects can be pretty durn easy.

it seems as though jared flood (designer of the koolhaas, and others) repeatedly finds the tiny blessed point in the knitting venn diagram where "easy" and "beautiful" meet. this hat, my friends, is not only fun and (relatively) easy, but it's something you won't mind giving to those non-knitters at christmas. and they (dare i say it?) MIGHT like it too.

speaking of muggles, i did want to take a minute to talk about relative stash sizes. i've been reading a (few) book(s) recently by stephanie pearl-mcphee, and she talks of stash sizes that would rival the libraries of alexandria. i'm okay with that. in fact, i thought i had one of those stashes, mostly because anyone who comes into my house can plainly see it. and they comment on it.

it's only on two shelves, for gosh sakes!

doesn't look like much, right? except for the other stuff on my bed.

that might be what they're commenting on.

still, it's not like it looks like a yarn store. the yarn harlot has closets full! CLOSETS!

i'm just talking like this because i'm jealous.

so, it looks like i still haven't been to the doctor. (hush, you.) my finger's looking fine, though, no inflammation, no ooze (not that there was any before, but i just wanted to reassure you). that's all about the chipmunk bite from now on. we'll never speak of this again.

happy mother's day.

chipmunk bites and moving schools

dear reader,

i've been putting off the first post for a few reasons:

1. this is a new blog. beginnings are important, or so i've been led to believe.

2. at this point in my life, i've become overly enthusiastic about playing with string, and i wanted to not feel so alone, but i was afraid of THOSE KNITTERS. (you know the ones.)

3. i was too shy to post before, but i need to now, because... this could be my last chance to type with my right pointer finger.

okay, so, the last one was a bit melodramatic. but let me explain.

about two weeks ago, i was bitten by a chipmunk.

let me back up a bit more.

i have a cat. she likes to think that i am lacking in hunting skills, so she likes to try to teach me. every spring, when the tiny furry animals around my house start pumping out babies, she starts thinning them out and leaving them for me, because she is my jewish mother and i'm just not eating enough. look at you, she says, you're skin and bones! (i'm not.) so, every other day, through a dead mole here and a twitching baby squirrel there, my dear jewish cat tries to fatten me up, maybe get me to cook more, because you're not going to get a man heating up food in the microwave, i'm sorry to say it, and couldn't you put on some makeup once in a while?

two weeks ago, she positively prances into my room with A LIVE CHIPMUNK hanging from her maw. i commanded her to "DROP IT! NO, GET IT OUT OF MY HOUSE" and she dutifully did, leaving me to pick up the dear, dear disney creature and cradle it in my loving, nurturing han-

*EXPLETIVE DELETED*

after throwing the cursed thing out the window (lovingly, onto a tree), i examined the bite marks. a nice deep incision from the lower teeth and three gnawy-bites from the upper teeth adorned my right forefinger. cursing liberally, i water-boarded the wounds with anti-bacterial soap and drowned them with neosporin before suffocating them with a band-aid.

if you were to look at my internet browsing history for that night, you would find (aside from the japanese big-bosomed lady porn pages, of course, duh) about eight and a half billion google searches for "rabies", "tetanus", "chipmunk bite", "rabies treatment", "tetanus photos", and "chipmunks are satan spawn".

now, here's where the rationalization comes in.

i found out that, not only is rabies not usually carried by or passed to rodents, but there have been no rabies cases in my area for a number of years! whew! another of my morbid fantasies laid to rest. (morbid fantasies of death by exotic or long-thought-dead disease courtesy of house, m.d., giving hypochondriacs ammo since 2004.)

so, like, rabies is out! i don't need to go to the doctor, right?

also, have i mentioned? i'm a teacher. a pre-k teacher. i teach a class of twenty four-and five-year-olds with another teacher. and that's a feat in and of itself. this year, however, we have quite a, uh, challenging class. in fact, one of our children routinely endangers the lives of the other students by swinging about large pieces of furniture. to leave my teacher with such a sweet, complex soul and a substitute teacher is out of the question. most subs, while good-natured folk, are ridiculously ill-equipped to handle any pre-k, let alone mine.

oh, also, up until this past monday, we were holding class in a building that was built by white people for black students (a segregated school) in the 1950's. (i live in georgia. yeah.) it wasn't made of the best materials then, and the building has only deteriorated in the sixty years it's been in existence. mold, mildew, even bats are commonplace (DID YOU HEAR ME? I SAID "BATS"), and we've been promised a new school this year. it's been under construction this entire school year, and on monday, we moved into it! yay!

except, oh, wait, uh... it's three weeks before the end of the school year.

so?

for those of you who do not have, nor have ever had, a four-year-old child (much less twenty of them), you don't know this, but... it's a BIG HONKING DEAL to switch school buildings in a school year. it's a big deal to pack, to explain, to maintain order, not to mention to reinforce the understanding that the rules of the previous building still apply in this new setting. now, take twenty four-year-olds, and do this to them at the peak of spring fever.

it's not a pretty sight.

sorry, wait. what does any of this have to do with knitting? and why did you elaborate on the chipmunk bite?

wait for it.

so, here's the timeline. (please imagine knitting permeating this entire timeline.) chipmunk bite, crazy class, moving, chipmunk bite completely healed and is fine, working on weekends, working after school, getting kids readjusted to schedule and rules... after two weeks, chipmunk bite becomes red, itchy, and imflamed.

oh, and my doctor keeps post office hours.

so, i had a choice. go get tested for tetanus, rabies, scurvy, lupus, leprosy (and any of the other ten thousand rare diseases that house has taught me to fear) and leave my teacher vulnerable to a sub that thinks her job is catching forty winks (NOT KIDDING), or, suck it up and hope to god it's not too late to get some sort of treatment.

all this figures into knitting because, instead of going to the doctor (i know, i KNOW), i've just been practising knitting without my right forefinger. i think it's okay because i'm a continental picker and rarely use that finger (with knitting) anyway, but i'm still worried that i may not be able to type once i lose it. if, i mean. if i lose it. just in case.

so, i'm planning a doctor visit monday afternoon when the kids are down for nap. but if worse comes to worst, i wanted to start my knitting blog off with a bang. a crazy school year, a chipmunk bite, and the enduring faith that i could still knit, even if it was frodo-style.

also, i just wanted to caution the knitters of the internet to keep up on the tetanus shots (especially you sock knitters that leave US 1's lying about willy-nilly, don't look at me like that, you know who you are, etc.), and don't, under any circumstances or delusions of disney-princesshood, attempt a rescue from a cat's mouth, no matter how cute the creature is.

let the feline kill the durn thing.